5
I stayed there for a long time. The sun had already set outside the window, night had fallen, and
stars twinkled in the sky.
Perhaps it was because I had starved for so long when I was alive that fate took pity on me; I had
now lost the ability to feel anything. I no longer felt hungry or thirsty.
Logically, I shouldn’t have felt tired. But standing here now, a wave of profound weariness washed
over me.
Julian hadn’t returned; I didn’t know where he had gone. Perhaps he was going to identify my body.
But when I was alive, he didn’t even remember my features. Now that I was just bones, could he truly
recognize me?
A dark sense of humor suddenly struck me. I wanted to see the faces of those female team members, to see their reactions when they learned the truth.
That landslide had been sudden, making national news, and the trending topics hadn’t died down yet. Julian hadn’t closed his laptop when he left, and I saw the old trending topic still on the browser homepage.
4:34 pm DDDD
<
I remembered that night. Everyone else had already left the mountain, only Julian and I were still
there.
It was because there was a rare meteor shower that night, and I knew he was in a bad mood, so I wanted to watch it with him. In the final moments, I pushed Julian out, but my leg was crushed by falling rocks. It hurt so much.
I wanted to call out to Julian, but no sound escaped my lips.
He seemed to have completely forgotten about me, not even sparing me a glance, moving further and further away. In truth, if he had wanted to, he could have saved me.
Those few seconds would have been enough for him to push away that rock, enough for us to escape. But Julian never thought to, he just didn’t care, I simply wasn’t that important.
I curled up in the corner, hugging myself, burying my head in my knees. I was dead; logically, a mirror shouldn’t show me. But at this moment, I clearly saw my own reflection. My clothes were tattered and torn, many patches stained with solidified dark red blood. My face was gaunt and sallow, my eyes dull and lifeless, like a piece of dead wood, devoid of all vitality.
For a moment, I actually felt a flicker of relief. Because of my insecurities, I always wanted to present my best self, so I learned to do makeup, to dress up. I was relieved that I wouldn’t be seen by others in this ugly state, relieved that my features were unrecognizable.
They say that when people die, they don’t move on because they have lingering attachments. For days, I had been trying to figure out what was trapping me.
Was it the injustice of Julian never understanding my silent love, or the fact that no one had ever truly acknowledged my love? In the beginning, I doubted myself, and I hated Julian. But in the end, in the darkness, those emotions and sharp edges were smoothed away. All I craved was a single ray of
light.
The laptop screen went dark, its battery dead, and the last bit of light in the room vanished. I was plunged into darkness, unable to even cry.
The empty space was eerily silent, reminding me of that year in the mountain cave. I was terrified of bugs, terrified of the dark. At night, there was always the howling wind, faint rustling sounds, and
animal cries.
I was tormented to the brink of madness, and I thought about leaving, but my limbs had no strength. I slowly approached death, feeling myself fade away little by little, finally surrendering to fate.
4:34 pm D DDD
<
In my last days, I even hoped for reincarnation, or a system, or to go back in time. Even one day earlier, and I wouldn’t have met this ending. I hated myself for being so blind, hated myself for not
being able to walk away, ending up like this.
As I was lost in thought, the sound of a door opening suddenly broke the silence.
6
