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Arianna’s heart stuttered in her chest. She’d thoughtGod, she’d been so surethat staying away would make him happy. That not seeing her face every day would finally give him some peace

So why did he sound furious

I promised I wouldn’t get in your way anymore,she whispered, her voice barely audible through the phone

The silence stretched so long she thought he’d hung up. Then came that bitter laugh that made her 

stomach twist into knots

Oh, you promised? Who the fuck said you get to make that call?His voice was icecold fury. You owe me, Arianna. That means I decide how you pay your debt. You think dropping out and pissing away your 

future somehow makes us even? Like your wasted life is worth my dad’s?” 

Every word felt like a physical blow. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think

Let me make this crystal clearwe’re nowhere close to even.” 

The heart monitor beside her bed erupted into frantic beeping. Arianna clutched at the wires attached to 

her chest, gasping for air that wouldn’t come

Jayden’s voice changed instantly. Jesusare you in the hospital right now?” 

She hung up before he could say another word

Tears streamed down her face as she stared at the maze of tubes and machines keeping her alive. Even if Jayden demanded she come back to school, her body had already made that choice for her. Her heart was giving up, piece by piece, beat by struggling beat

When the worst of the pain medication fog lifted, Arianna reached for her diary with shaking hands

May 21st, 2015 

Jayden

God, everything hurts so much. They keep sticking me with needles and I’m so tired of being brave about 

  1. it

Yesterday they hooked me up to ECMOthat’s the machine they use when your heart can’t pump blood 

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Done Hiding as Your Backup Plaything I’m Shining Golden as a Queen 

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Chapter

anymore. The nurses try to be encouraging, but I saw the look in Dr. Martinez’s eyes. When they wheel that thing in, people don’t usually walk back out

But I’m still here. Still fighting

Everyone keeps saying I have such a strong will to live, but that’s not right. It’s not that I want to liveI just can’t die yet. Not until I clear your dad’s name. Not until I’ve earned the right to see him again

279 days of loving you. Counting down now

A week later, Arianna finally felt strong enough to leave her room. She needed fresh air, needed to see something besides those four white walls that felt more like a tomb every day

She’d barely made it to the hospital lobby when she saw him

Her traitorous heart did a painful little flip despite everything. Jayden?The word came out like a prayer, full of desperate hope she had no right to feel. Did youdid you come to see me?” 

Jayden’s eyes flicked to the directory behind herCardiac Surgery, Intensive Care, Palliative Medicine. His face stayed carefully blank

I’m picking up meds for my mom.Each word was clipped, professional. Like si 

The hope died so fast it left her dizzy. Oh. Right. I shouldI’ll get out of your way.” 

She turned to leave, but his voice stopped her cold

s a stranger

When are you planning to stop this bullshit and come back to school? You’re obviously not dying, so what’s this about? Trying to milk sympathy from everyone?” 

Arianna went completely still. When she turned back around, there were tears in her eyesbut somehow, impossibly, she was smiling

You’re worried about me,she said softly. It wasn’t a question

Something flickered across Jayden’s facepanic, maybe, or anger at being caught caring. His gaze swept over her, and she watched his expression shift

Jesus. When had she gotten so thin? The smallest hospital gown hung off her like a tent. Her mom’s necklace, which used to rest against her chest, now caught on her jutting collarbone. She looked like she might blow away in a strong wind

The thought sent an unwelcome jolt of fear through him, which only pissed him off more

Right. You’re like a fucking cockroachyou’ll probably outlive us all just to spite everyone.” 

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Done Hiding as Your Backup Plaything I’m Shining Golden as a Queen 

Chapter

He walked away before she could respond, leaving her standing there clutching the wall for support

Back in her room, Arianna had barely settled into bed when her mom burst through the door with tears in her eyes and the first good news they’d had in months

Tomorrow,she said, grabbing Arianna’s hands. They’re reopening the case. You’ll finally get to testify.” 

For the first time in weeks, Arianna felt something other than despair. Really? They’ll actually listen?” 

The next morning, she was at the courthouse by seven AM, terrified of missing her chance again. Her body felt like it was held together with tape and stubborn will, but she’d crawl to that witness stand if she 

had to

At ten o’clock sharp, court was in session

This time, Arianna stood exactly where she should have been a month ago. Her voice carried clear and strong across the silent courtroom

I swear under oath that James Hiddleston died saving my life. Those men are murderers, not victims.” 

When the judge’s gavel came down with the new verdictmurder in the first degreeArianna pressed 

mily section. both hands to her racing heart and turned to see Mrs. Hiddleston and Jayden 11 

Their eyes met across the crowded courtroom. Mrs. Hiddleston was crying, but for the first time since the funeral, she looked present. Aware

And JaydenJayden was staring at Arianna like he was seeing her for the first time

I told you I’d make this right, she thought desperately. I told you I wouldn’t let them destroy his memory

Outside the courthouse, Jayden helped his mother to their car before walking over to where Arianna stood with her mom, who tactfully stepped away to give them privacy

The silence stretched between them like a chasm

Finally, Jayden spoke. Thank you.” 

Arianna shook her head, tears spilling over. I should have done this weeks ago. I should have been stronger.” 

Mom’s having a good day,he said quietly, glancing back at the car. She told meHe paused, struggling with the words. She said I need to stop hating you.” 

Arianna’s breath hitched. Jayden-” 

I don’t hate you anymore,he said, and somehow that was worse than all his anger had been. His voice 

the wa Mason 

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Chapter 

was gentle, almost kind. But every time I look at you, I see that alley. I see my dad bleeding out while those animals laughed. I see my mom losing her mind.” 

The words hit her like physical blows. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold the pieces together

So I thinkHe took a shaky breath. I think it’s better if we don’t see each other anymore. Ever.” 

Arianna felt something fundamental break inside her chestnot her heart, that was already destroyed, but something deeper. Her soul, maybe

It took everything she had left to nod. Okay.” 

Jayden looked at her for one more secondreally looked at her, like he was memorizing her facethen walked away without another word

Seventeenyearold Jayden had no way of knowing, as he climbed into his car and drove away from the courthouse, that he’d just said goodbye to Arianna Carter for the last time

44.5

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