On Christmas’s Eve, I stood in the mall beside the central boulevard, watching balloons float into the sky and counties couples emir seine Cha in the gently falling snow.
I clutched movie tickets in my hand, feeling something indescribable. After loving Lucas Pierce for so many years, it seemed there would be no kanga ending after all.
Just then, my phone vibrated.
I picked it up and glanced at it–it was Jackson, Lucas’s brother.
The chat screen displayed: [She didn’t show up either.]
I’d grown up with Lucas and Jackson.
Eventually, I fell for Lucas, while Jackson developed feelings for my roommate.
I encouraged him to help me win Lucas, while I’d help him with Olivia.
But unfortunately, on this Christmas’s Eve, Olivia never showed up for Jackson, and Lucas never came for me.
I sighed deeply and was about to leave when Jackson called. The background was noisy, but his voice came through clearly, though raspy.
“Did you see my brother’s post? And hers?”
In that moment, a bad feeling washed over me.
My hand holding the phone and my finger hovering over the screen hesitated. It felt like once I clicked, everything would change.
But I finally did. Christmas’s Eve was flooded with couples posting photos. I only had to scroll slightly before I saw it.
When I spotted the photo, confusion overshadowed heartbreak.
Because they had posted a picture of themselves in school uniforms–in the photo, Jackson and Olivia stood on the school track, smiling and making peace signs at the camera.
Both looked genuinely happy, unlike when Lucas took photos with me–he rarely smiled. And Olivia had always refused to take pictures with Jackson.
Olivia was my high school classmate. During a period when I was having problems with my family, I decided to move into a dorm, so we became roommates.
I refused to go home, so my parents had Lucas and Jackson bring me things. Eventually, through these visits, Olivia got to know them.
But when had they developed feelings for each other?
Jackson and I had been like fools, moths to flames.
Staring at their post, I couldn’t speak, feeling something caught in my throat, making it hard to breathe.
Jackson hadn’t hung up and hadn’t spoken either.
Finally, he asked: “Are you still at the theater?”
Hearing that, I managed an “Mmm.”
“Then wait for me there. I’ll buy new tickets. Let’s watch together.”
“Okay,” I replied.
At least I wasn’t alone in my misery–having Jackson there made it slightly more bearable.
While waiting for Jackson, I didn’t dwell on potential clues I might have missed. Instead, my mind went blank.
32.7%
Prawnal Damorcal.
I didn’t cry either. I just felt like everything had happened too quickly,
After what seemed like forever, my legs had gone numb from squatting when I finally spotted Jackson coming up the escalater
He’d dyed his hair red a few days ago, saying the Christmas should be vibrant and auspicious. The red hair represented good things in com
I’d planned to dye my hair red too, but since he’d beaten me to it, I went with caramel brown instead
When he saw me, he quickened his pace.
I waved at him: “Help me up. My legs have gone numb.”
Jackson reached out to steady me, studying my face before smiling: “Good, no tears.”
I massaged my tingling legs, feeling a bittersweet sensation.
“You too,” I noted.
“Yeah,” he sighed, waving dismissively. “Come on, it’s almost time.”
We both tactfully avoided the subject.
After the movie, he walked me home.
After showering, I saw Olivia had messaged me:
[Riley, Lucas and I are together now. Are you mad at me?]
I closed my eyes, lying on my bed and staring blankly at the ceiling before replying: [No.]
She could date whoever she wanted, even if it was Lucas.
But I’d considered her a friend. I’d excitedly shared every moment of my crush on Lucas with her. Yet she’d never said anything to me. After I’d pursued Lucas for years, they got together.
Heartbreak and anger filled my chest.
I wasn’t angry that she was with Lucas, but angry that she’d never told me she liked him too.
During all those times I shared my feelings about chasing Lucas, what had she been thinking? Had she been secretly laughing at my foolishness?
It made this person suddenly seem strange and frightening.
As soon as I sent my reply, she responded as if she’d anticipated my answer.
[I’m so sorry, Riley. I’m glad you’re not upset. I wasn’t trying to hide it from you–I just didn’t know how to bring it up…]
Her message was lengthy. I exited the chat and removed her from my favorites.
Finally, she asked: [Riley, want to grab some Burned Ends at Joe’s Kansas City Bar–B–Que tomorrow?]
I knew she was testing whether I was truly upset. But I couldn’t be friends with her anymore. Whether I was angry or what she thought didn’t matter.
[Nah, I’m too tired tonight. Going to sleep.]
A moment later, she didn’t reply, but Lucas messaged me instead.
[I pursued Olivia, and I liked her first. Riley, I hope you won’t blame her or direct your anger at her.]
What can I say?
I used to love Lucas so much–the kind of love that filled my heart and eyes until it almost overflowed.
But now, overnight, it felt disgusting, nauseating. There was no way their feelings were sudden, no way they’d just gotten together out of nowhere.
But they’d watched Jackson and me like clowns, enjoying our affection while eventually saying, “Thanks for liking me, but I don’t like you.”
Ftornal Remorse!
33.0%
I could accept any outcome, but I couldn’t accept that the person I’d loved for years turned out to be a jerk.
I didn’t reply.
Instead, I sent screenshots to Jackson with the caption: [Got any?]
After a while, Jackson sent me his screenshot too–a message from Olivia basically thanking him for his years of devotion….
Jackson: [In five whole years, she never once mentioned she was into my brother. C’mon Riley, we’re not that pathetic, right? If we’d known they had feelings for each other, we wouldn’t have pining after them like total losers.]
Five years of pursuit, but the feelings had
even longer.
I replied: [It’s my bad luck meeting them. But I don’t want to see them again, though I probably will tomorrow. Then I’ll have to pretend everything’s fine, that I don’t care. It feels so fake, but they’ll only be happy and guilt free once they hear that.)
As I typed, frustration built in me. I wanted to delete and block them.
[Same here. My brother just knocked on my door asking if I was asleep. I didn’t answer. Just thinking about it exhausts me. I’m not that heartbroken–after chasing her for years, I’ve learned to accept rejection. But it hurts that it had to be the two of them.]
Why did they get to do this to us?
Suddenly, an idea popped into my head.
At that exact moment, Jackson called.
Since childhood, we’d both been impulsive and imaginative, often having the same wild ideas.
“You know what…
“You know what…”
We spoke simultaneously. I gestured: “You go
first.”
Jackson cleared his throat. “Why don’t we pair up? We already know each other inside and out.”
I paused for a second, then nodded even though he couldn’t see me: “Okay.”
“And we’re getting married before they do.”
“Leave it to me.”
