1 Have No Mother
1 fel lite i can breathe. One minuts im yelling at my twother and mother, then the next the monitor starts to
scream. The room is flooded with people, and I’m shoved out of the way I watch as a man in a long white
seat starts to push on my father’s chest. As much as I want to deny what’s happening. I know what CPR is and if it’s happening to my father, it’s not good 1 stand there watching as they try to save his life
Deddy, please don’t leave me, I manage to cry out before a nurse pushes me out of the room. As soon as I’m
in the hallway. I crumple to the floor. This can’t be happening. He wouldn’t leave me. Strong familiar arms
scoop me up. I want to pull away from him, but I don’t have the strength. Besides, at this moment, I need him When he starts to rock me, I completely lose control of my emotions.
I feel like a beach that is being pummeled by waves as emotion after emotion rolls through me. Anger,
sadness, and regret are the strongest. When the door opens to the room, I manage to find the strength to slide out of Connor’s lap. I turn to face the doctor that I just watched minutes earlier, trying to save my father’s life. His expression lets me know everything even before he speaks the words. “We did everything we
could, but we were unable to save him,” he says directly to me.
Before I can stop myself, I scream “no” and rush through the door. The nurses are flitting around the room clearing away the wires and tubes, but what I notice the most is how still my father is. No movement, not even the rise and fall of his chest. He is truly gone. He left me. One of the nurses look up at me with sympathy in her eyes. I don’t want or need her sympathy right now. All I want is my dad to wake up. To tell me
he won’t leave me. To tell me, all of this has been a bad dream.
“Miss, why don’t you let us clean him up, and then you can sit with him,” the nurse says. “No, I want to be
here.” She nods and goes back to cleaning up. My feet move of their own volition and without a second
thought I lay my head on my father’s chest. His skin is still warm, but the silence is deafening proof he is
gone. I start to sob as I wrap my arms tightly around him.
“I’m so sorry dad. I never should have left with them. I should have stayed with you. This is all my fault.” “It’s
not your fault, Olivia. It’s mine. I’m the reason all of this has happened, and I’m so sorry. I know you don’t
believe me, but I love your father,” she says. “No, you’re right, I don’t believe a word you say. Now get out. You
don’t deserve to be here. You’re right about this being your fault, and I’ll never forgive you,” I say, never
moving from where I’m lying across my father’s chest.
“Olivia, you’re going to need help. I can make the arrangements,” she starts to say. I immediately stand to my
full height and move until I’m standing in her face. “Get the f**k out. I don’t want anything from you. My
father is dead because of you. I hate you. Now leave and don’t let me ever hear you say you love my father
again, you selfish b**ch.” She looks as if I just slapped her, but I couldn’t care in the least.
She bursts into tears and rushes out the door. I take the seat next to my father’s bed and take his hand in
mine. I’m not sure how much time passes when the doctor from earlier steps into the room. “Olivia, I can’t imagine how hard this is, but we need to start the process of moving your father and making arrangements,” he says. I turn to look at him and nod.
Once I’m alone again, I stand and press a kiss on my father’s forehead. “I love you daddy.” I start across the
room and when I reach the door I turn back to look at him one last time. I’m truly alone. “You’ll never be alone,
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Oli a disembodied soft female voice says. I look around even though I know there is no one here with me, Great, on top of losing my father, I’m losing my mind. A soft giggle has me shaking my head,
When I step into the hallway, I’m glad to see only Rebecca. I’m still angry at her, but I couldn’t exactly expect her to keep something like this from Connor. When she notices me, she is on her feet. She stops right in front of me and I know she is holding herself back from wrapping me in her arms. I reach out to pull her into a hug, and she sags in my arms. “I’m so sorry, Oli. He called me when he realized I wasn’t in my room and I didn’t want to lie to him. As angry as I am, I knew he deserved to say goodbye too,” she says as she sobs.
“It’s alright Rebecca. I’m not angry anymore. I know how much you love my brother. As angry as I am at him he was our dad.” Her arms around me tighten. After a few minutes, we make our way to the nurses‘ station. Anger threatens to choke me when I see Xavier and my mother speaking to the nurse. “Why are you still here? Leave, you aren’t welcome. You are the reason he is dead” I practically scream at both of them.
“Enough Olivia. You are not the only one that is hurting. Besides, you have no money to pay for your father’s arrangements,” he says. “Xavier, please” my mother says. “No, Evelyn. She doesn’t get to act like she is the
only one that is hurting. You have all lost someone important to you,” he says. That’s when I lose it.
“Really, he was so important to her that she f**ked you. She left him. She is the reason he died. As for you, I’m sure you’re glad he is dead. I don’t want your money. I have money saved, and I’ll use every last dime to pay for my father before I let your dirty money pay for a damn thing.”
My mother gasps and Xavier starts to move toward me. Rebecca steps in front of me and I see hurt flash in
Xavier’s eyes. “Leave Uncle. I will help Oli with whatever she needs, but she is right. You and your wife shouldn’t be here.” Before Xavier can open his mouth, my mother does. “Take me home, Xavier.” He looks at her and I swear her normally blue eyes are black.
He nods and pulls her to his side. As they pass me, I refuse to look at her. Two hours later all the
arrangements are made and Rebecca is leading me out of the hospital. She leads me over to a car and I slide
into the back seat. I refuse to look at Connor. When we finally reach the place that is even more of a prison
now, I head straight to my room and lock the door. I strip as I make my way into the bathroom.
I make the water as hot as I possibly can before I step under the spray. Sliding down the shower wall, I curl
into a ball and let the tears fall. This is the last time I will let myself fall apart. When the water runs cold, I
turn it off. I dry and dress quickly. Sliding under the blanket sleep immediately takes me under. Visions of my
father plague my dreams.
The sound of someone pounding on my door wakes me from sleep. I refuse to answer it. I don’t want to see any of them. “Oli, it’s me Rebecca.” I roll out of bed and move to open the door. When it swings open, she has a tray covered with different breakfast foods. “I brought you breakfast. You need to make sure you eat,” she says. “I’m not hungry, Becca. I just want to be left alone.” “I know Oli, but I’m not going to let you just cut
yourself off from me. Besides, Xavier wants us in his office in an hour” she says.
“Xavier can go f**k himself. I don’t want to see him or Evelyn.” “I know your angry Oli and you have every right to be, but what they have to say is important. Honestly, they should have told you the day you arrived. Hell,
you should have known all your life,” she says. “I’m not interested in anything either of them have to say.” “Oli,
this isn’t about them, it’s about you. You need to know exactly what you are and why you were brought here,”
she says.
I go to open my mouth, but she cuts me off. “I’m not permitted to tell you, Oli. You’re going to have to suffer through the meeting with Xavier and your mother,” she says. “Evelyn isn’t my mother. I’m an orphan.” She
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A Have No Mother
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simply nods. I force myself to eat toast before I take a shower and get dressed. Rebecca leads me through the huge mansion and I notice people meandering about. Who the hell are all these people?
We reach a large wooden door. She knocks twice before a deep voice calls out for us to enter. She pushes the door open and I follow her inside. Connor is seated on a couch that rests in front of a large bay window. I turn to see Evelyn and Xavier sitting behind a large wooden desk. I want to turn and leave, but Rebecca threads her arm through mine, keeping me in place. “Have a seat, Olivia” Xavier says. “I’d rather not. Just get on with
whatever bullsh*t you need to tell me.”
His fists tighten where they rest on his desk. “Sit down, Olivia, now,” he says. I feel like I’m not in control of my body as I move and take the seat. “Xavier, this is not the way,” my mother says. “Unfortunately, Evelyn, it’s the only way. She won’t listen otherwise. We all need to get past this,” he says. “Past what, you killing my father?”
“Olivia, I’m very sorry that Charles died, but it’s no one’s fault. Now, we need to discuss the reason it is so important you stay on the pack grounds.” I refuse to acknowledge what he just said, so he keeps going. “I know this place seems strange to you, but this is pretty normal for a wolf pack,” he says. I look at him for a
moment before I finally throw my head back and laugh.
When I finally get myself under control, I look at my mother. “Way to go Evelyn. You had a perfectly sane man and traded him in for this delusional pr*ck.” Before I realize what’s happening, Xavier is out of his seat and his eyes flash black. My eyes can’t believe what they’re seeing. Fur is starting to cover every bare piece of skin as
Xavier falls on all fours. Connor pushes me behind him and my mother rushes around the desk to cover
Xavier with her body. “Atlas, please get control of yourself. She is hurting,” she says.
“She is disrespectful. She is hurting you, mate,” a voice that sounds nothing like Xavier’s comes from him. “No, she is hurting. She lost her father. Give Xavier back control. If you hurt my pup, I will never forgive you” she says, and Xavier whimpers. What the f**k is happening right now? Am I still asleep and having a
nightmare?
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