Three years after Christmas, I sat on a park bench, watching Gavin on the lawn. He was smiling as he lifted a little girl high into the air. The girl held a flower in her hand and playfully stuck it in his hair, and he didn’t mind at all. Beside them stood a beautiful woman who was doubled over with laughter at the sight, clutching her stomach.
“This must be love. Look what you’ve done to Uncle Gavin–he looks like a complete fool now.” Ryan sat with his legs crossed, staring at the lawn with obvious impatience.
The coldness that once defined Gavin had been worn away by the years. His voice had become gentle and soft, and his entire demeanor had grown much more tender.
Over these past few years, I had gradually overcome the monthly memory loss that had plagued me. The fragments of lost memories began slowly piecing themselves back together. Though I sometimes still needed time to think things through, most of my memories had returned clearly. Gavin no longer
ured me to remember the past–he chose to wait patiently me to recall things peacefully on my own.
I turned to look at Ryan. “Why did you come back anyway?”
Ryan had returned to Malmö and hadn’t stayed in the country long. He pursed his lips and said, “Amelia, I think you were actually better when you had amnesia. Is there a problem with
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me coming home?”
I shook my head. “I just think you don’t actually hate your stepfather and sister as much as you pretend to.”
Ryan turned his head away and muttered, “Mind your own
business.”
6 min left
On the distant lawn, another tall man with curly hair walked over and took the little girl from Gavin’s arms. Gavin finally breathed a sigh of relief and walked toward us.
“Your sister says they’re going on a cruise tomorrow,” he said to Ryan. “She hopes you’ll come along.”
The corner of Ryan’s mouth twitched slightly, and he responded with cold indifference: “Oh.”
In the distance, Ryan’s stepfather had set up a camera, and the three of them were waving at Ryan. Gavin patted his shoulder: “Go on, they’re calling you.”
But Ryan stared at the harsh sunlight on the lawn, not moving. After a while, the little girl came running over unsteadily and tumbled to the ground right at Ryan’s feet. Seeing her chubby little face hit the dirt, Ryan immediately picked her up and pulled out a handkerchief to wipe her face.
“You’re not ladylike at all,” he said.
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The girl looked up at him with a silly prin: “Brother, phenot
Despite his complaints, Ryan still picked her up and walked toward the other two on the lawn,
Gavin sat down beside me and gently adjusted the shawl that had slipped from my shoulders. “It seems children really can change a person,” he said,
“Should we have one too?” I asked,
“No,” Gavin shook his head. “Having you is enough for me.”
He knew my health wasn’t good, and even though he loved ildren, he had never brought up the topic. I smiled and snuggled against him, then placed his hand on my belly,
Epilogue: Gavin’s Diary
March 1, 2017
I’ve recently discovered that I’m being followed. The person following me is a girl. She sits right across from me–how interesting. She’s so blatant about it, does she think I haven’t noticed her? Still, she’s really beautiful.
A few days later, I saw her again when I was working as a teaching assistant at school. I never expected her to be a New York University student. But she’s like a little tail I can’t shake off she follows me every day. Doesn’t she need to study? What’s
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6 min left
strange is, if she likes me, why doesn’t she just come talk to me?
March 4, 2017
She’s really bold–she actually dared to follow me and sneak into my house. I sent Juliette home for a while because I wanted to see what she was really up to. I think I heard some movement under the bed. Was that her?
March 5, 2017
After drinking milk last night, I suddenly fell asleep.
But when I woke up, I felt completely refreshed and energized.
March 6, 2017
I found undissolved pills in my cup. Did she do this? She seemed unaware that I was pretending to sleep, yet she still dared to climb on top of me…
March 7, 2017
She’s been quite impressive these past few days. I’m starting to look forward to it.
March 8, 2017
She left. But my nephew came back from Sweden. Is he going through teenage rebellion? What a headache.
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March 10, 2017
6 min left
She seems to have disappeared these past few days. Could it be that she doesn’t like me anymore? I’ve been so cooperative with her, and now she doesn’t like me? Where on earth did she go? I searched through all her classmates, but why do they all say they don’t know her?
March 11, 2017
Thank goodness Nash knows her. But when Nash asked why I was looking for her, I had to lie and say my nephew needed tutoring. I hope she can come be my nephew’s tutor.
March 14, 2017
I saw her again. She came to my house, nervously carrying her bag. It started pouring that evening, so I asked her to stay the night. She agreed. Around midnight, I was reading in my study, and when I went back, I thought I saw her shadow. There was a glass of water in the study. Though I didn’t know who put it there, I drank it anyway. Soon after, I felt dizzy and my limbs went weak as I slumped in the chair. I felt a pair of hands wrapping around my calves…
March 15, 2017
It was incredible. She’s absolutely incredible. I love her so much. I never imagined such a quiet–looking girl could be so wild!
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March 16, 2017
6 min lett
I scheduled things late again today, She’ll be staying over tonight again, I can’t wait,
March 28, 2017
I’m falling for her more and more, Amelia, Amelia, Amelia!
March 29, 2017
Amelia knows I’ve been awake the whole time. Seeing her face turn red with embarrassment filled me with joy. I’m so happy.
April 1, 2017
Amelia disappeared! I can’t find her anywhere! Where did she go this time?
April 15, 2017
Nash told me she actually graduated long ago. But she developed a rare form of amnesia from a car accident, making her believe she’s still in graduate school. And this amnesia wipes her memory clean every month. How could this happen? Amelia, don’t you remember me?
April 25, 2017
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6 min left
I encountered Amelia again, and she was completely different. from before. She had her hair in twin ponytails, wore a white dress, and sat quietly reading in the library. I struck up a conversation with her. She said her name was Amelia and that
she was pleased to meet me. She had no memory of who I was.
April 28, 2017
I asked Amelia out to dinner, and she readily agreed. I think maybe we can go back to the beginning.
May 1, 2017
Amelia lost her memory again. She doesn’t even remember that we had dinner together the day before yesterday!
May 14, 2017
Amelia dyed her hair pink and wore jeans, looking much more lively than before. But she looked at me like a complete stranger, her eyes full of wariness whenever I approached.
June 1, 2017
Amelia is stalking someone else again? She’d rather stalk others than spare me a glance.
July 6, 2017
She stopped stalking others and seemed to become an ordinary
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girl. I struck up a conversation with her again. She said her name was Amelia and that she was pleased to meet me.
July 10, 2017
6 min left
I confessed my feelings to Amelia. She looked surprised and delighted, and agreed to be with me.
August 2, 2017
Amelia doesn’t recognize me again. She dyed her hair black and passed by me at school without acknowledgment.
It doesn’t matter. I can try again.
Christmas 2017, September 1st
I confessed my feelings to Amelia once more. She seemed somewhat reserved and shy. She invited me to see a movie.
Christmas 2018, March 31st
Amelia and I got married, just one day before her memory reset. This time she was unexpectedly gentle and compliant, even introducing me to Nash as her husband. Nash looked at me with eyes full of pity.
Christmas 2018, April 1st
When I woke up in the morning, Amelia didn’t recognize me,
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She screamed, demanding to know who I was and why I was in her bed.
Christmas 2018, June 12th
I took her to many places seeking treatment. But Amelia’s condition didn’t improve.
Christmas 2019, July 18th
Another memory reset arrived. This time I was thoroughly prepared. I didn’t mind reintroducing myself to her. But Amelia went crazy. She refused to believe she had ever been married.
Christmas 2019, July 23rd
Amelia ran away from home. When I found her, she was at the police station.
Christmas 2020, April 23rd
The doctor suggested letting her live at her original home for a while. I followed the advice and sent Amelia back to her family’s
house.
Christmas 2020, May 1st
Amelia’s memory reset again. She began retracing her route to school, entering the university classrooms from her college days. She thought she was still in college.
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Christmas 2021, September 1st
6 min left
She returned home again, but seemed very reserved. The moment she saw me, I knew her personality had become much gentler this time. She was afraid of me. I didn’t dare get close, only watching her through surveillance cameras.
Christmas 2021, September 4th
The doctor said her condition was improving and we could consider using medication to stabilize it. I had Juliette put the medicine in a cup for her to drink.
Christmas 2021, September 7th
I gradually began arranging evening schedules. Amelia moved back home for the first time, but stayed in the guest room.
Christmas 2021, September 12th
The doctor said we could appropriately help Amelia recall past
ents, but not too aggressively.
Christmas 2021, September 14th
Though she’s so close, I can only watch her through cameras. Amelia, have you really forgotten everything?
Christmas 2021, September 15th
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6 min left
Every minute, every second, even when we pass by each other, I can only pretend to be indifferent, not daring to turn back for another look. I think I’m going insane. Amelia, you captivated me, yet you keep forgetting me over and over again. You’re truly too cruel.
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